Monday, October 10, 2011

guilt

1.I know what you were thinking: What a silly way to die. What a silly, selfish, ridiculous mistake to have made. Don’t think that, brother.

2.But I felt sort of guilty almost, like if I’d kept my mouth shut none of it would’ve ever happened. Like it was my fault

3.I did not kill him. But I was present, you see, and my presence was guilt enough.

4.I'm deeply troubled, wondering if my son will be trying to wipe out the crop that nearly killed me 22 years ago. Guilt rattles my brain like a BB in a metal boxcar.

5.I still see him in my dreams.

6.Jorgenson kept pushing his hand out at me. He looked so earnest, so sad and hurt, that it almost made me feel guilty […] I hated him for making me stop hating him


7.Even now I haven’t finished sorting it out. Sometimes I forgive myself, other times I don’t. In the ordinary hours of life I try not to dwell on it, but now and then, when I’m reading a newspaper or just sitting alone in a room, I’ll look up and see the young man step out of the morning fog

8.Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood clean from my hand? No; this my hand will rather the multitudinous seas incarnadine, making the green one red.

9.I feel guilty sometimes. Forty-three years old and I’m still writing war stories […]I should forget it. But the thing about remembering is that you don’t forget

10.Like Jimmy Cross, the boy was explaining things to an absent judge. It wasn’t to defend himself. The boy recognized his own guilt and wanted only to lay out the full causes

11.I would give most anything
if I could rewrite history
Cause in my heart I know that you
should be here instead of me

12.It’s time to cut ties that won’t ever free our minds
From the chains and shackles that they’re in

13.Guilt is the price we pay for our intentions

14.Guilt is strong regret that weighs us down without the feeling of escape.

15Guilt is the basis of heavy sorrow.

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